How did we get here?
When we react automatically rather than thoughtfully respond to a challenging situation we usually find ourselves behaving in a way that makes the situation worse. An understanding of the impact our behaviour has on others is very helpful in dealing with relationship conflicts. Automatic reactions are most often defence mechanisms and work in the short term to help us feel better in some way, but are unlikely to help create understanding or improve the relationship. When we learn how to become more aware of our own automatic behaviours, and deal with the thoughts and feelings that drive them in a more productive way, we are able to make better choices. Building a better relationship depends on it.
Learn how to be true to yourself in your relationships, whether they be at home or at work: express yourself honestly, ask for what you need, be assertive and stand up for yourself, without holding back for fear of rejection. Relationship coaching is available for people who want to strengthen or heal their relationships with their partner, family members, co-workers, relatives or friends.
Where do we start?
Sometimes only one person in a conflict wants to seek coaching and, if that’s the case, that’s fine. Even one person working on themselves and being more aware of their behaviour will have a positive impact on a relationship. For some couples, I’ll see both people separately for a session each first and then we’ll all get together and discuss the issues. Everyone’s different.
However we go about it, we’ll look at your values and emotional needs. We’ll talk about assumptions and judgements and learn about how conflict is a cycle and how we can break the cycle.
Mostly, we’ll focus on moving forward as we consider the options. We’ll do it compassionately and respectfully and, whatever the outcome, you’ll both be in a better place to ensure you’re making decisions that are right for you.