Put your own mask on first

To be anxious is human. To seek to manage your anxiety is healthy. And as a carer is it vital! Put your own mask on first – then help others.
Sharing Anxiety

I remember the moment I realised that my anxiety was being shared with my son.

When he was only 3 years old, I was in the midst of a storm.  Caring for a child on the Autism Spectrum is a constant challenge. At that age he didn’t speak a word and frequently had meltdowns that made strangers gasp in amazement.  The world was hard.  While this was going on my marriage broke down and filled my already overwhelming world with more anxiety.

I thought I was doing a great job of keeping my anxiety to myself and away from my son.  I tried to soothe myself after he’d gone to bed, I never argued or raised my voice in front of Austin and was telling myself that I was doing a great job of shielding him.

But in the background my world was exploding.  There seemed to be no good days – ever.

Continue reading “Put your own mask on first”

Please follow and like us:

Welcome to Wings Self-Care

Introducing WINGS Self-Care

We would like to introduce you to Wings Self-Care. We know you are mostly busy, often tired, usually stressed-out and, at times, anxious. We know you would like some time-out for relaxation and we know you don’t have time for that!

The purpose of Wings is to provide a safe and nurturing place, a soft landing… so you can take some time-out for you, connect with others who get you, be heard, and learn some skills that you can use in your hectic daily life to help you relax and be mindfully present.

Self-Care for Carers = Taking Care of Yourself
                       so you can take good care
                       of others

We know that as a parent or a carer you already have an incredible capacity for love and compassion for others. It’s time for self-compassion, self-love and self-care. On a flight, in case of an emergency, we are told to put our own oxygen mask on first and then assist others – for good reason!

We need to get better at self-care, whether we are parents, carers or support workers. Everyone needs time-out for self-care. Let us wrap our wings around you so that you can take better care of yourself and be even more able to care for the people in your life.

Wings offers:
  • Group Relaxation Workshops
  • Blogposts for Discussion
  • A Facebook group to connect workshop participants 
  • A Toolbox of skills and strategies to use when you need them most
  • Mp3s to practise Self-Care at home
How does it work?

Continue reading “Welcome to Wings Self-Care”

Please follow and like us:

Talking down

I have an appointment today with Lammy’s teacher, the school and the Education Department to discuss, assess and agree his support requirements for his next year in High School (a new setting).  We will do this by working our way through competence areas and talk about his ability (actually his lack of ability) against criteria in these areas.  Essentially we are not there to discuss what he can do – but what he can’t do.

I’ve been through this experience several times before and naturally armed with the knowledge of what will happen in the meeting today, I am already feeling down, a bit traitorous and heavy-hearted.

Continue reading “Talking down”

Please follow and like us:

You’ve got the job!

You’ve got the job!
Imagine this….

You applied for what seemed to be your dream job.  You read the job ad and it seemed to fit your skills really well, or perhaps it was asking you to meet some challenges you hadn’t experienced before but you felt ready to try.  The ad was quite clear about what you were getting yourself into and while it made no secret of the fact that there would be hard work, its joys meant that you wanted to give it your best shot.

Job Requirements

The skills and competencies required were listed as:

  • Devotion and love
  • Dedication, diligence and hard work
  • Sense of humour and fun loving.

Tick, tick, tick and tick.  Got all of those skills.

So you applied.  Then they called you in and told you that you had the job – hooray!

Additional Requirements

But there was a twist.  Besides the role you applied for, you have been selected to take on a bigger role.  This role will require additional levels of:

Continue reading “You’ve got the job!”

Please follow and like us:

Introducing Lammy

The foundation of the Wings blog is from a blog called “The Stimmer”.
The Stimmer is about Lammy. 

The blog posts are written by Ros, Lammy’s mum. Together, Ros and Gaye (from Capital Mindset) present these blog posts to form the basis for our discussions at Wings Self Care Workshops.

The Stimmer blog was created to support parents and carers through the challenges experienced when raising a child, especially one diagnosed with special needs.

At the Stimmer, we believe that to be able to look after those in our charge, we must look after ourselves first. We must be able to recognise and understand our responses to the situations we found ourselves in,  as well as those of our children.

Just as they say when you are in a plane ‘put your own mask on first’.

Who is Lammy?

Continue reading “Introducing Lammy”

Please follow and like us: