Muggles, Squibs and Autism Magic

Hand holding magic globe


Not Autistic

Maybe this is lazy blogging, but I couldn’t help when I started writing this blog to think about all those children who are not on the Autism spectrum.

In most writings they are referred to as ‘neuro-normals’ or something similar.

What came to my mind was that scene from the first Harry Potter movie where the just plain straight nasty Draco teased and harassed Hermoine as she was a ‘muggle’.  I suppose to me a muggle is the equivalent of a ‘neuro-normal’ in the Autism world. Generally speaking, it is a term used by members of a group to describe those outside the group, comparable to civilian as used by military personnel. Continue reading “Muggles, Squibs and Autism Magic”

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Cutting to the chase

Recently in my world I have had some difficult family matters to attend to. This required me to fly to my home town and speak with my family about a stressful and sad situation.  My older brother is very sick and we needed to discuss and plan for this as a family.

I elected to leave Lammy behind at home for the few days I’d be away for all the right reasons – well so I thought at the time.  Firstly there is that good parenting practice of not wanting to alarm him and make him anxious.  And I think that is the same decision that most parents would make. Continue reading “Cutting to the chase”

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It takes a village to raise an ASD child too……

I was at a presentation the other day and as the presenter started talking, his own small child decided to latch on to him and not let go.  So the speaker joked to the audience about how it takes a village to raise a child (sub-text: so would someone in the community mind taking care of my child so I can focus on the presentation at hand).

It got me thinking about the saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child’.  What a lovely idea and one that many people embrace.  The approach brings with it all the benefits of inclusion, greater learning capacity for our kids, shared responsibility and respite, and presenting children with more than one way to do things and more role models. Continue reading “It takes a village to raise an ASD child too……”

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Seek support wisely, not widely

When Lammy was 4 he attended the local preschool one day a week with a support worker.  I was so excited that we were finally genuinely part of the ‘normal community’.  It felt so good that Lammy was spending part of his week learning and playing with neuro-typical children.  Maybe he didn’t notice the difference, but I did.  I felt excitement for each of these preschool days.  It was even exciting for me making his lunch and packing his bag for the preschool adventure.


One day a note came home in his school bag.  It showed the smiling face of a little boy about Lammy’s age.  The message was a request to the parents of preschool classes asking for children to come over and play.  It continued that the little boy in the letter had an ASD and his parents were very keen to connect with his peers and classmates for regular play and to assist with play therapy. Continue reading “Seek support wisely, not widely”

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Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”

As my anxiety increased about an autism diagnosis, I could also feel the anger increasing inside of me.  Initially my anger was centred around the unfairness of the world, in particular my world and Lammy’s world.

At this time Lammy was attending a great childcare centre several days a week.  As per normal, the kids in his group started having regular parties, mostly birthday parties, which at their peak numbered almost one every week.  Trying to keep my child in the ‘normal’ group, I insisted on attending as many parties as we could.  But all the parents (and I suppose me too) knew that my child always needed my attention, didn’t understand the games, let the balloons go, got upset if the routine of the party was different to the others, wouldn’t listen and didn’t understand instructions for games or the food and more.  And in retrospect I was tense, really tense.  But I persisted and we went hoping that the next party would be better.  But then we just stopped being invited. Continue reading “Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?””

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You Must Know the Bentley Brothers!

Child's hands holding a small globe

In my youth (quite a long time ago), I was travelling through the United States with a girlfriend and was in New York City for a couple of days.  I was very keen to buy a lasting souvenir of my visit to the Big Apple, so when I saw a necklace with a small gold apple pendant on it in the window of a small jewellers, I was excited.  My friend and I went inside the store and were greeted by a sweet looking elderly (at least we thought so in our youth) lady with a strong New York accent.  We asked the friendly store owner to show us the necklace and chatted to each other excitedly about its loveliness. Continue reading “You Must Know the Bentley Brothers!”

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Denial: This can’t be happening to me!

My Grief

So what has been my experience of grief? My journey is my experience.  It doesn’t set out to guide you or give you any instruction.  Maybe you’ll see some familiarity in some of the stories on the journey – maybe you won’t.

But what I think it does show is that grief generally occurs not really from a single event, but that it’s part of the journey as you take on this role as parent to an ASD child.  Your awareness changes, your feelings change, your triggers change as you go.

I knew it was coming.  I’m a smart girl – I had two eyes.  He may have been my only child, but I could see the difference.  My child looked the same as other children his age, he even hit the same physical developmental milestones as other kids like teething, eating, walking.  But I still knew that he wasn’t the same.  But denial can be very powerful – and it can seem very safe. Continue reading “Denial: This can’t be happening to me!”

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Children with a disability deserve respect

Continue reading “Children with a disability deserve respect”

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