I was watching a TV show last night that basically had British comedians trying to outdo each other in the funny stakes. As I watched and listened to them all trying so hard to be funny, and being clever by referring to someone who was rather particular about how they did things as Rain Man, I thought to myself ‘Rain Man jokes just make me feel a bit cranky’. If that comedian had a child on the ASD Spectrum they’d realise that the joke just really doesn’t seem that funny to everyone.
As my anxiety increased about an autism diagnosis, I could also feel the anger increasing inside of me. Initially my anger was centred around the unfairness of the world, in particular my world and Lammy’s world.
At this time Lammy was attending a great childcare centre several days a week. As per normal, the kids in his group started having regular parties, mostly birthday parties, which at their peak numbered almost one every week. Trying to keep my child in the ‘normal’ group, I insisted on attending as many parties as we could. But all the parents (and I suppose me too) knew that my child always needed my attention, didn’t understand the games, let the balloons go, got upset if the routine of the party was different to the others, wouldn’t listen and didn’t understand instructions for games or the food and more. And in retrospect I was tense, really tense. But I persisted and we went hoping that the next party would be better. But then we just stopped being invited. Continue reading “Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?””